The Christmas Gifts that Do Not Keep on Giving

Now that I'm a few weeks out from the wrapping paper frenzy of Christmas morning, I can soundly reflect on some of Santa's more questionable choices for gifts this year in the Dressing household. Quite frankly, I'm appalled that Santa would even consider a few of these noxious toys.

1. The Kung Zhu Battle Arena. Really Santa? The Kung Zhu is basically a boy version of a Zhu Zhu Pet, but with plastic battle armour and a little hamster sized sword. The "battle arena" (picture a velodrome shaped plastic battle ground with about 30 flags that are strategically placed all around it). The flags are actually just placed all over my living room floor, and the battle only works if both Kung Zhus are wearing the armour. In other words, little sister's hamster doesn't quite work in the arena of death. Santa, please be a little more discriminating next year with that wish list.
2. The Fisher Price Sing-a-Ma-Jig Plush Doll. Apparently they harmonize if you get two of them together. Listen, if there were two of these dolls at my house, I'd be in a drink induced coma. This doll sounds like you have a stuck organ key playing over and over. Then just when you think it is finally going to stop talking, it announces, "Night, night." It makes Chucky look kinda sweet.
3. The Fisher Price Little Einstein Singing Annie Doll. Santa, are you seeing a Fisher Price pattern here? Put these guys on your naughty list. The singing Annie doll is a little like listening to the Sound of Music for 12 straight days. She even looks like the smallest Von Trappe kid. And the worst part is that you barely have to graze her before she starts screeching, "Sing my song with me, sing loudly, forte!" Well, there's another "f" word I can think of for Annie, but this is a family blog.
4. The 100 million piece Lego set. Honestly, I know they are supposed to be fantastic for kids, but anything with that many pieces is never going to be the same in our house after the first opening of the box. We can barely handle a 24 piece puzzle around here. I have found Lego pieces in my shoes, in my purse, coat pockets, in the mouth of the singing Annie doll (okay I was trying to quiet her down). And I won't even tell you how loud I sing when I step on one of those suckers.
5. The 2011 calendar chap sticks or any chap stick or lip gloss for that matter. Stuff that smells good and looks like a glue stick is going to wreak all kinds of havoc when a three year old is around. We've tried to convince our youngest that you cannot eat chap stick or use it to stick paper together, but she still keeps trying. And really, who can read those tiny little months on the tube? Is it leap year this year? I don't know, I can't tell if February has an extra day!!!
6. The 3-D drawing pad complete with 3-D glasses. Okay Santa, I know you were trying to be creative with the whole stocking stuffer thing, but that kept my son's attention for about 2 seconds. "Oooh, I drew a box. Oooh, it looks like a box that is slightly lifting away from the page. Huh? Where's that one million piece Lego set??"

So hopefully Santa will exercise a little more caution next year in making some selections for my little ones. I am making a mental note right now to write him my own letter this year....hope he has some 3-D glasses to read on this cool paper.