Usually I am thoroughly pleased to see the end of a year and the beginning of a new one, but this year it just seems as though I have unfinished business. I did a little more than survive Christmas this year; I think I actually had a lot of fun and tried to enjoy my time off with the kids instead of thinking about all the stuff I couldn't buy or the fact that my Christmas decorations looked less like LL Bean and more like Goodwill. We had our cherished friends and family for Christmas Eve and spent the next morning watching the kids tear through Christmas morning-hoping they would find some treasures and surprises under the tree. We spent three wonderful days catching up with parents and siblings and lots of nieces and nephews. And by some true Christmas miracle, John and I managed to get along through this holiday season and were even still chummy by Christmas eve (maybe because there were no big toys to put together this year)!
And still, I'm just not ready to let go. I've run around my house today dusting and changing sheets and making all things clean and new, trying in vain to finish any leftover projects from 2013. But there they all are staring me in the face: the half painted stairs leading up to the attic, the pictures I haven't hung, the bedroom curtains I'd planned to replace still hanging with their stains. And the biggest dagger of all, this blog with its last entry reading, January 2013. Ugh!! Just stick a knife in me. How sad, one lousy entry. What insight into the rush and push and pull that was 2013. I'm not just ready for it to end; I need two more months, two more weeks, two more days. Surely, I would be able to finish one of those projects, or find the time to write down a few of the meaningful thoughts I'm thinking.
But it's time to lean forward to all that 2014 has to offer. There are new friends to make, new recipes to try, many projects started that could finally come to fruition. What opportunities! I was reminded most painfully yesterday that life has a crazy way of stopping you in your tracks and reminding you that you get few chances to connect, to love others, to parent your children, to honor your parents and to reach even a small number of your goals. So this year, starting tomorrow, starting tonight, tell someone you love them, really connect with those people in your life, think of something important that you really want to see happen this year and just take one little step in that direction. Then another, and then another.
