The end of the year for some people is signified by the big ball dropping and a singing a round of Auld Lang Syne, but for me the end of the year is always more academic. The last day of the school year is a much greater mark of what I've accomplished working in an college setting and parenting two school age kids. It is the time that I reflect more on what went great over the past school year and where I fell short. It is June 15th today, officially half way through the month, and halfway through the year. I didn't get around to writing much, it seems my thoughts and my ability to get them on paper or online just don't always connect.
It was a rough year for me. Giving up more control of parenting decisions and being home less due to a full time work schedule was not an easy adjustment for me. I found myself feeling pretty bitter and resentful a lot of days. It isn't that I don't love my job, it's just that I missed my primary job being to care for my children, husband and home. Feeling like those areas were secondary in terms of time spent on them made me feel crappy. To be fair, John did a great job keeping things in order, signing forms, making sure everybody did their homework and practiced piano. There were lots of times that things fell through the cracks of course, we forgot girl scouts a number of times, emails were missed, and more than a few things were turned in late, but my guess is that happens in all families regardless of who works full time.
So my brain and spirit are now in full summer mode. I have a very reduced schedule over the summer and I have a lot of fun things planned for the family. Julia is spending two weeks as I write in Ecuador with a student exchange program. Ian and Norah are learning to swim (or swim better) and I am going to read a lot of books. We're going to the lake and taking a trip to Florida at the end of the summer. We'll probably do some dog sitting too and hopefully have enough slow lazy days that we're refreshed and ready to tackle a new school year. Norah will start preschool, Ian will march into 3rd grade and Jules will return from her trip with a new confidence and outlook on the world.
For now, I am going to relax and try to be better prepared for how to handle full time work and full time parenting without feeling like work is outweighing my energy to have fun with my family. And I'll try to write more too....
