It's actually March, but February lasted so long that now we're here. The past few weeks have been such an incredible whirlwind of experiences and emotions that I don't even know where to begin. Our lovely exchange student, Nadia, arrived from Ecuador on February 12th with her gorgeous, long dark hair and her shy smile. Poor soul. Who on earth would want to leave the beauty of Ecuador to come to Cincinnati in February? There are many nice months to visit Cincinnati, but February is certainly not one of them. It was blustery, rainy and cold most days, but we squeaked out a bit of sunshine and a glimpse of spring while she was here. The weeks were full of events with other kids and families who are also part of the exchange. We managed to take her to Graeters, ice skating, the top of Carew Tower, the Zoo, Build a Bear (don't ask me how much I'm out), Newport on the Levee, the Museum Center, the symphony, and to enough volleyball practices and games to make her head swim.
It is curious how having another child in your care makes you suddenly very aware of your own parenting choices, the issues that you have disciplining your children, and the expectations you have everyone around you. Though we tried hard to get it more "together" as a family while our guest was here, we mostly just fumbled along and trying to be loving and trying to avoid threatening our children at least within earshot of Nadia. What I learned most about the experience is that we really don't have enough down time. Partly I think we had an impulse to fill her days with visits to places we thought she needed to see, as though just being part of our little family for a few weeks was not enough. The end result, I fear, is that she may have come away thinking that American families spend a lot of time in the car going places, getting picked up from places and buying things, which sadly, we do. But the other part is that I think slowing down forces us to talk and to be patient and let some time go by with nothing on the agenda, all of which is a good deal healthier than always having somewhere to be and something to do.
Today, I spent some time thinking about what I'd do differently. I would just have talked to her more and helped her come up with the words she wanted to say in English, rather than filling her time with social activities and overstimulating gatherings of 5th graders. I would have worried less that she was "bored" and just allowed her and Julia to figure out more on their own about each other.
The visit made me think a lot about what my own child will be like staying with another family. Will I have the urge to call her and want to instant message her, like Nadia's family in Ecuador? Will my child be adventurous and try new foods and attempt to speak, however poorly, in Spanish? Will her host mother hug her after school and tuck her in at night? Will she make sure she has her hair washed and has clean underwear? Having Nadia with us made me think of all the ways that knowing that someone is seeing you for the first time challenges you to be a better person, to be more thoughtful about word choice, acts of kindness, smiles, and the importance of laughter.
So even though February is often the month I love to hate, this February truly was about love and friendship. I was too busy to think about how long February can be. Now I wish that I had a few more days. But we're marching on and soon to be "springing ahead" as we always do towards the future, towards our children growing older, and hopefully towards the sun shining on us, reminding us to slow down and take a peek at all those bright purple crocuses sticking their necks out into the world.
It is curious how having another child in your care makes you suddenly very aware of your own parenting choices, the issues that you have disciplining your children, and the expectations you have everyone around you. Though we tried hard to get it more "together" as a family while our guest was here, we mostly just fumbled along and trying to be loving and trying to avoid threatening our children at least within earshot of Nadia. What I learned most about the experience is that we really don't have enough down time. Partly I think we had an impulse to fill her days with visits to places we thought she needed to see, as though just being part of our little family for a few weeks was not enough. The end result, I fear, is that she may have come away thinking that American families spend a lot of time in the car going places, getting picked up from places and buying things, which sadly, we do. But the other part is that I think slowing down forces us to talk and to be patient and let some time go by with nothing on the agenda, all of which is a good deal healthier than always having somewhere to be and something to do.
Today, I spent some time thinking about what I'd do differently. I would just have talked to her more and helped her come up with the words she wanted to say in English, rather than filling her time with social activities and overstimulating gatherings of 5th graders. I would have worried less that she was "bored" and just allowed her and Julia to figure out more on their own about each other.
The visit made me think a lot about what my own child will be like staying with another family. Will I have the urge to call her and want to instant message her, like Nadia's family in Ecuador? Will my child be adventurous and try new foods and attempt to speak, however poorly, in Spanish? Will her host mother hug her after school and tuck her in at night? Will she make sure she has her hair washed and has clean underwear? Having Nadia with us made me think of all the ways that knowing that someone is seeing you for the first time challenges you to be a better person, to be more thoughtful about word choice, acts of kindness, smiles, and the importance of laughter.
So even though February is often the month I love to hate, this February truly was about love and friendship. I was too busy to think about how long February can be. Now I wish that I had a few more days. But we're marching on and soon to be "springing ahead" as we always do towards the future, towards our children growing older, and hopefully towards the sun shining on us, reminding us to slow down and take a peek at all those bright purple crocuses sticking their necks out into the world.
